


Like warm English Tea

by BrittWalker2013



Category: Parasol Protectorate - Gail Carriger
Genre: Alexia and Biffy have to much fun, F/M, Fun, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:11:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4805765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrittWalker2013/pseuds/BrittWalker2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexia has caught a dreaful cold, But the youngest pack member Biffy knows exactly what to do to make his lady happy and comfortable. Whether or not the rest of the pack survives their fun with a new invention was another thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A-Achoo!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kittymsmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittymsmith/gifts).



> Hi guys I've wanted to write somethng like since i was reading Changeless but never got around to doing so. I hope you all like this, I plan for it to be 2 chapters but it could become three.My friend Kitty loves Biffy as do I so I thought why not write a story about him and Alexia?

**A-Achoo**!

“I’m not sick!” Lady Alexia Maccon’s voice rang out through out the London pack townhouse followed by her husband’s customary grumblings. Down below them on the main floor Professor Randolph Lyall sighed as he shifted the cards in his hand while waiting on Major Channing to take his turn.

“Bloody woman is going to wake half of London with that mouth of hers.” The Major grumbled as he laid down his cards. Lyall opened his mouth to answer but quickly stopped as he herd his non complacent alpha stomp down the stairs, looking like he was being filled with the full moons power. But, after all his-what was it now over three hundred?-years Professor Lyall had learned a lot more in the past four months of  living in the house with two married people.

Conall Maccon walked over to the pair still grumbling, and gave Channing a whack to the back of the skull. Channing, who knew he was caught, didn’t argue with the assault and reached up pulling down his own collar.  “Channing, I need you to watch Alexia.” The Gamma, thinking it some odd form of a joke began to laugh, near doubled over.  The Alpha and Beta both looked at one another sharing confused looks on their faces.  “An’ what’s so funny about that, gamma?” Conall inquired, his arms folding before his large chest. Channing stopped looking between them, “You mean, you aren’t joking?”

“Why would I be joking?” Conall asked irritation building in his voice. Channing stammered out several reasons, none of them the correct one to say to his alpha, especially when this all concerned Lord Maccon’s mate. “Sir, I say this in the nicest of ways possible, _she_ hates me.” The Major said in such a low mono tone it almost sounded like he was imitating Professor Lyall.  The aforementioned Beta, who had remained quiet till this point, final spoke, “He does have a point, My Lord.” 

Conall glanced at his Beta and exhaled, running a large calloused hand over his face. He knew very well that alexia and his Gamma did not see eye to eye since their very first meeting. But he and Professor Lyall needed to go into town to BUR and he knew is he left Alexia home alone she’d never stay in bed and rest. But, would the rebuttal of her disagreement with Channing extend to him when he got home in the early morning? Would she deny him love and affection? Probably. That was alexia’s usual punishment to him when she became angry.  Last month, after they returned from Italy, she was still so angry at him she didn’t let him _dare_ touch her for an entire _week._  Conall did not want _that_ again.

“Verra well Gamma, I see your humor in this but I need _someone_ to sit with Alexia and keep her entertained while I’m away.” Channing gave a grunt and probably mumbled some smart reply so low even Conall couldn’t hear it. The room suddenly smelled faintly of the sweet coconut smell a scent that only was found in Bond Street’s best pomade. “I wouldn’t mind assisting you, lord Maccon.” All three sets of superior ranked eyes looked at the newest member of the pack. Biffy was standing in the arch way into the room, hands were occupied with holding his top hat that was well adorned with a velvet oxford red ribbon around it matching his waistcoat to a science. His hair as combed back and styled to the best of his abilities given his werewolf state, Biffy tried to look as much as his former self as possible. A task not easy for werewolf’s it must be noted.

Conall relaxed exceedingly knowing his wife truly enjoyed the young dandy’s company more than anyone else in the pack, well, with his self and professor Lyall included in her liking circle. Where she and he well did husband and wife things, and she and Professor Lyall spoke of the latest gadgetry she and biffy could talk about nearly anything, and _did._ They spent hours on end over tea just chattering away about anything from hair to gossip of the town maybe even a politic or two, as much was social acceptable to speak over tea.  Biffy had first been a drone to Alexia’s dear friend Lord Akeldama, then due to some misfortunate events was bit into the life of a werewolf. The deed sent an uproar throughout the supernatural community but now things were right again. Except in Biffy’s world. He hated being a werewolf and tried everything in his power not to remember that he was, for all eternity.

Sandelio de Rabiffano smiled at his Alpha and climbed the stairs to the second floor, then walked down the vast hallway of mostly rising werewolves. He walked by an open door spying Adelphus Bluebutton styling his hair in a forward fashion Biffy found utterly forward for a man of his age.  Biffy mentally stopped and wondered to his self exactly _which_ age was he referring to, his physical age, or his werewolf years? Such a thing could get confusing. He knew in time he too would be one of those supernatural set everyone forgot their exact age or wished to know what their physical age was. But, for now, everyone knew he was just a pup hardly a few months into his metamorphosis.

He climbed another set of stairs up to a tower, which the Lord and Lady had claimed for their bedroom, and knocked on a large oak door with tender ease. When a stuffy “Come in.” met his call he walked in. “Oh, my lady don’t you look ravishing this evening.” Biffy smiled to the pregnant Italian woman laid back among a mountain of pillows and tissues. Alexia Maccon, simply looked at him disapprovingly, “You may try another lie, Biffy, but that one I won’t accept.”  

Biffy gave her a kind smile and came over to his antenatal friend, and sat down beside her. “You are very lovely, Lady Maccon, whether you believe me or not.” He uttered before extracting his own handkerchief and cleaning up all the hankies. Alexia sniffed her sizeable, now redden, nose and smiled patting his hand, “Thank you, Biffy, really.” Biffy smiled once more, “Would you like tea, My Lady?” Alexia looked at him in a way that said ‘When don’t I ever want tea ‘to which Biffy grinned and called for it.

“So, My Lady, have you read about the new steam curlers out of France?” He said bringing the cookie tin and tea trolley once Rumpet brought it in. Alexia shook her head nibbling on a butter cookie. “Well, they wrap in your hair like normal curlers, then you see, they’re little gears in side snap open and release steam sealing your hair in the shape, thus theoretically, leaving your hair in the perfect curl.”

Alexia’s brown eyes widen,” Good golly that sounds too good to be true! Can you imagine not having to go to bed with your hair wet and sleep in those dreadful curlers and nightcap again?”

She was sitting up now, the tea seemingly soothed her pains from the cold for now, looking as excited as one could being a twenty-six year old pregnant woman with a cold.  “We must get us some of those…” Alexia began but biffy laid a hand on her shoulder, “I sent someone out this every evening to fetch some, My Lady, and they should be arriving back anytime now!” He said proudly. “Brilliant!” she clasped her hands together smiling.

Biffy never had siblings but he believed it was similar to his friendship with Lady Maccon. Once at a ball he had attended with her someone _did_ think they were siblings.  Alexia had only laughed and admitted she’d much rather have _him_ as a brother than her two ninnies she called sisters. So now the pack jokingly would refer to them as brother and sister when referring to one or the other. Another thing Alexia had introduced him to was proper care of a pregnant woman, his parents never even conceived another child after him so he knew not what pregnancy was all about, still did not but he learned quickly it was best to keep them _happy_.

Soon a knock came to the door and Catogan came bustling in with an obviously French decorated box with silver adornments and beautiful penmanship. “I got it Mister Biffy, I got it.” Grinned the young Cleavinger. “Brilliant lad, brilliant.” Biffy took it gently, “First one too sir. In all of London at that.” Biffy grinned at that, he may have learned a thing or two from his time with Lord Akeldama that it was best to always be _first_ when a new invention came out.

Biffy walked back to Alexia and acquired her letter opener gently opening the box, both of them gasped when they saw the brass rods inside with silver adornments. There was a set of twelve inside perched in place against a red velvet backing. Biffy and Alexia both took out one each and examined it. Both made an hmmm type sound and looked at the other. Biffy quickly set to work twirling one up in alexia’s hair and she, without the dandy’s notice, did the same to him.

After releasing the steam and letting the strands of hair cool both released the rods and looked at the fantastic curls left behind, or well Biffy hadn’t noticed his till it fell right into his face into a lump. Both of them looked wildly at one another and soon a battle of hair curling began. Within the hour the both of them had lovely curly locks resting against their skulls. “I love them.” Alexia stated dabbing her runny nose with a hankie. “Oh, yes I cannot wait to use these more often! Too bad major Channing isn’t in residence at the moment or we could try it on him.” Biffy chortled. Alexia thought a moment and stopped her mouth in a simper. “Biffy my dear, I think I know what we can do.”

 

 

 


	2. little pink lambs

“I cannot believe we’re doing this.” Alexia nearly giggled. “Well, My Lady, it was your idea.” Biffy responded lugging a Leicester long-wool sheep up to the top of Woolsey castle. The sheep in question was Professor Lyall’s. He’d recently acquired the animal when the pack recently went hunting, unable to kill such a fine specimen he brought it home and kept it in detached laboratory. Whatever the professor planned to do with the thing Biffy had no idea. But its long wool would make for very beautiful clothing.

“But what will the Professor say? You know he’s rather fond of this uh…creature.” Biffy stammered a bit to try and find the appropriate words for the Beta’s sheep. Why did he like sheep so much? Biffy decided he would have to ask him one evening during tea time. At that time they usually engaged in cards, sometimes Major Channing would join in and various others, most times it was just he and the professor talking about whatever they pleased. Just, never sheep. Biffy learned quiet early on to never get the good Professor started on sheep or you’d never get a word in. Or much of an understandable conversation unless you were knowledgeable on the facts of sheep as well.

“Well, it isn’t like we’re killing it, Biffy, just simply trying to curl his, er…her..hair.” Alexia said holding the door open for the young werewolf which he politely said thank you and helped his lady spread an old blanket across a desk that normally held Lord Maccon’s BUR records. Now, they were an organized chaos of files, paper works and various other things in the corner of the room. Alexia would make sure to re-scatter them on the desk later. “Alright missus…uh….Does it have a name?” Biffy looked over at alexia who turned over to tag on the sheep’s ear, “XKK3T.” She read off.  Biffy’s nose crinkled at it. “How impersonal.” He muttered scratching the animal’s ear, “The Professor isn’t much of one with imagination.” Alexia chuckled slightly then patted at her stuffy nose with a hankie. “Well, would you like to name it?” Biffy through for a long time, while he brushed out the animal’s hair. “Cotton.” “Cotton?” “Well it looks like a giant cotton ball.” He said examining the creature, like a sculpture would a statue. “Can’t argue with that.” Alexia laughed a bit,” Cotton it is.” Biffy grinned, grabbing up the first curler and twisting it in the sheep’s wool, Alexia soon followed suit soon Cotton was wearing all twenty-seven curlers throughout her body.

 

Biffy looked at his pocket watch and gawked and looked at Lady Maccon, “Did we really spend two hours curling a sheep’s wool?” Alexia looked at him and let out a congested laugh, “Seems we did…I’ll blame it on the pregnancy….You may blame it on living to long with Lord Akeldama.” Now it was Biffy’s turn to laugh, it was true his former vampire mater had been acentric. No one, not even Lord Maccon, would disagree to _that_.  The pair had now set to the task of removing the curlers once they cooled and only got about half way before Alexia began to sneeze. “A-A-A-ACHOO!” The sheep leaped up and bleated and took off, dragging Biffy a little ways before the confused werewolf let go. The two companions looked where the sheep had sped off destroying everything in its path remaining curlers flapping in the wind.

Biffy and Alexia both looked at one another and in unison whispered, “Uh oh.” The yells and curses of angry, confused, werewolves sounded throughout the castle. Biffy quickly took off after the creature dodging broken vases, painting and over turned werewolves. “Has anyone seen a sheep?” He called out. “You mean one with curlers in its hair?” grumbled one of the fallen wolves. “Yes…Yes sir.”  “It went barreling down the hallway heading for the front door, his Lord ships going to be mighty angry when he returns home.”  Biffy gulped down air and nodded pulling down his collar showing his neck, “Thank you sir.” He then took off, stopping in the door way at an odd site.

Major Channing Channing was speaking to a delivery man lugging out a large vat of something. “For the last bloody time no one here ordered a giant tub of pink dye.”

The smaller man looked up at the irate Major, whom seemingly to Biffy had no idea of the chaos inside. “No need to speak foul language Major I’m just doing my job.” Channing rubbed between his eyes delicately, “Who, pray tell, is the order made out to.” The smaller man looked down to his clip board, “Er a mister Adelphus Bluebutton, Major.” Channing stopped a moment and slapped his forehead, “Of course. Very well I’ll bloody sign.”

Biffy who till this point had forgotten about the runaway sheep, that was until it came crashing into him. By the time biffy could register what was going on the fluffy animal has crashed between Major Channing and the Post man right into the bright pink liquid, covering the sheep and the Major’s starch white uniform shirt. Everyone stopped, not moving a muscle. Biffy was already preparing his grave. To make matters worse he seen the Woolsey carriage containing none other than Professor Lyall and Lord Maccon inside.

Both men stepped out of the carriage looking puzzled at the vast of unknown substance on the front lawn and the now pink shirted Channing. “Gamma, what has ‘appen?” Lord Maccon asked walking over, no one had noticed the sheep yet.  “If I had any bloody idea Alpha I’d tell you.” Channing grumbled looking down at his shirt. That started an argument between the two that Professor Lyall decided to stay out of and walk mutely over to the tub and peer in. “what on earth is in there.” He murmured reaching down jumping back as the sheep popped its head up and bleated at him. “WKK3T!” Professor Lyall exclaimed and looked at Channing eyes wide. “Don’t look at me.” Grumbled the Major.

Biffy was about to take the blame before a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in. “Lady Maccon! What…” “Shush. Let the Major take the wrap for it, we’ll make it up to him later.” She smiled putting an arm around his shoulders. Biffy nodded slightly with a small smile. “Well then, shall we get tea?”  “Y….Y-ACHOO-Yes lets.” Both companions walked away to the library, Biffy knew just what to do to make it up to the Major.

 

­­­­­­­­­­­­­Later near dawn Major Channing walked into his room annoyed and tired. He’d spent the remainder of the evening helping Professor Lyall scrub the sheep clean. Stupid sheep. Lord Maccon wasn’t too pleased with the state of Woolsey castle either when he came in, so the rest of the pack got cleaning detail. He sighed sitting down on his bed with a thud, and looked over to his night stand where a small package stood.

“What’s this?” He wondered picking it up. It had ‘sorry’ written on the front, once opened however it was filled to the brim with beef jerkies. Channing grinned, jerky was a rare delicacy to get in England, even this vast amount of it. His problems forgotten he ripped into a piece of it and flopped back, now contented.


End file.
